Iconoclasm, 1992–2023
| When | Who | Where |
|---|---|---|
| 2024 – | Jay Gerbrandt | Squirrel Ridge |
| 2023 – 2024 | (Query?) Jay Gray | Malahat fast lane |
| 2021 – 2023 | Mx gary club thing | Turk’s • birdhouse |
| 2020 – 2021 | Stealth Gary | Rivian, mostly remote |
| 2019 – 2020 | EV, TV, Airbnb boi | road-t.rip |
| 2018 – 2019 | Berkeley Brainwashed | gary.onhousing.tech |
| 2017 – 2018 | miigwech gramercy | Wemindji, Manhattan |
| 2016 | Gazzerrrrrrrrrrhhh | Mzansi |
| 2014 – 2016 | Consulting Class Clown | Toronto, etc. |
| 2012 – 2014 | FLP Rep Captain | Lev G-tower |
| 2010 – 2012 | Gary D.J. Gerbrandt ’14 | Douche Camp |
| 2009 – 2010 | Mistah President | student council office |
| 2007 – 2009 | Nerdy Braggart | the Great Hall |
| 2006 – 2007 | it’s that chicken kid | Cafetorium |
| 2005 – 2006 | “Gayest Kid In School” | Codrington |
| 2004 | bob3003 | Simtropolis |
| 2001 – 2004 | Josh, in the devil suit | Miramax |
| 1999 – 2001 | Very Scary Berry Fairy | Suburbia |
| 1996 – 1999 | The Boy | Off Base |
| 1993 – 1996 | Rena & Zwibble’s | On Base |
| 1992 – 1993 | Pooter | Germany, mostly |
Looking for Gary David Jay Gerbrandt?
That’s me, yep, you found me, spies and creditors. Friends, lovers, colleagues — after much hand-wringing, I have decided to follow the lead of coal miners and oiligarchs in shifting my liabilities to a new structure. After all, I’m just trying to “sunset” these “assets” “responsibly”. Neither alive nor dead, I aspire to solve all my problems with legalese, doing Dr. Frankenstein’s work on myself.
Gary David Jay Gerbrandt, human individual, will continue to exist for all intents and purposes. No death is involved. Conveniently, like the “financial innovators” inspiring this novel approach, I can take equal advantage of the magic of Writing Something Down & Making It So. To wit:
On June 27, 2024, Gary David Jay Gerbrandt (heretofore "G19T") ceased operations as a going concern. G19T is reformed, upon reader's eye contact with this sentence, as a Posterity Immortalized Trust ("PIT"). G19T PIT provides a container for which all affairs related to the Pre-Trust Individual ("PTI") can be settled without requiring the cessation of neurological functions. Pending a line-item analysis of personality and theirstory elements, to be completed within sixty (60) days of this writing, the surviving assets shall be split off and reorganized as Jay Gerbrandt, a Limited Liability Person ("LLP"), operating as Jay LLP (heretofore "JLLP"). JLLP, operating temporarily without assets until the conclusion of said division process, is named as the Temporary Operating Trustee ("TOT") to bridge all business of the PTI until its split into G19T PIT and JLLP, after which JLLP shall cease as TOT and become LLP and PIT Immortalization Trustee ("JLLPG19TPITIT").
What This Very Official Contract Means For You
| Relationship to G19T | JLLP Restructuring |
|---|---|
| Family members | Call me Jay. Trying to be more grounded. |
| Friends | Samesies — trying to be less avoidant |
| Mentors | Still me; focused. healing = success |
| “Acquainted” gray area | Reach out if you want to reconnect |
| Exes (on bad terms) | Fool Jay again, shame on Jay |
| Old flames (on good terms) | Care for platonic adult friendships? |
| Classmates (primary, secondary) | Still bad at keeping in touch |
| Classmates (postsecondary) | See above |
| Former colleagues | The above, except LinkedIn |
| Intellectual partners | I am likely still a nerd for all the things |
| Spite-wishers | You got what you wanted! |
| Process servers (neutral-wishers) | You can figure out your next move. |
| Well-wishers | Aww, sweetie! |
| Uhh, I’ve only ever known you as Jay? | U DINT C NOTHIN, PAL |